\n
![\"megan\"](\"http:\/\/blog.brickhouseracing.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/01\/megan.jpg\" "\\"megan\\"")
<\/p>\nThis morning, while sitting in traffic, I found myself thinking back to camp. I realized a couple of days ago that stress of camp was not just physical, but mental as well… I’d started experiencing some anxiety while riding- a combination of not wanting to let myself, my teammates, and Nathan down. By the end of the week, during the last ride, while my teammates & I were being pushed to our limit, he told me (loudly), “Come on, Andrea, I know you’re stronger than that!” In my head, something clicked, and I realized that the pain of riding like that was something that I’m good at, I actually enjoy (most of the time!), and that I am “getting paid for.”\u00c3\u201a So, for some reason, everything instantly felt better.\u00c3\u201a I might be a little too old to achieve the glory that some of my teammates have ahead of them, but I’m going to turn myself inside out to help them get it.<\/p>\n
Even with this realization, the mental stress from earlier in the week followed me home. The first few nights, I had nightmares about riding my bike and not being able to go fast enough. I realized that I was experiencing a mild case of post-traumatic stress! It’s something I would never have recognized if I hadn’t felt a much, much worse version of it following my trip to NYC on 9\/11. I was working with a dog trainer at the time, and we made the trip up to do recovery work (a.k.a. find the dead people\/parts of dead people). I had the same feelings of doubt, guilt, anxiety, nightmares, etc. soon after returning home (though exponentially worse and including flashbacks\/panic attacks).<\/p>\n
So yesterday I rode my bike for the first time since camp. I felt great, especially because my buddy Megan came along:
\n<\/p>\n
We had a fun, windy ride. Surprisingly enough, I didn’t have any nightmares last night! I’m ready to train my ass off now, and I’m looking forward to riding harder than I ever have in upcoming races: This morning, while sitting in traffic, I found myself thinking back to camp. I realized a couple of days ago that stress of camp was not just physical, but mental as well… I’d started experiencing some anxiety while riding- a combination of not wanting to let myself, my teammates, and Nathan down. By the end…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":151,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false,"jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":[]},"categories":[3,5],"tags":[],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/pa8Uq-aE","_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.brickhouseracing.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/660"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.brickhouseracing.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.brickhouseracing.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.brickhouseracing.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/151"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.brickhouseracing.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=660"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"http:\/\/www.brickhouseracing.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/660\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":672,"href":"http:\/\/www.brickhouseracing.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/660\/revisions\/672"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.brickhouseracing.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=660"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.brickhouseracing.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=660"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.brickhouseracing.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=660"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
\nSouthern Cross<\/a> on Jan 24th in Mulberry Gap, GA (gravel road, endurance-style CX w\/a daunting climb in the middle).
\nValley of the Sun Stage Race<\/a> Feb 13-15th
\nSan Dimas Stage Race<\/a>– looks to be in March, but I can’t find an official date<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"