…of 2011, at least. I normally don’t like to make a post of nothing but complaining and whining, but I figured I’d tell you just how bad it was in hopes that other 100 milers this year will only be better. Also, I’ve been told by several people that they read to live the wannabe pro life vicariously through my blog. Well, it’s generally a sweet life, but sometimes it’s just fvcking hard.

My instructions for Sunday’s ride were to maintain a strict Z2 pace for 6 hours.  I’m in the process of digging a bit of a training hole, and I started feeling delayed effects of Southern Cross late in the week, so I started out feeling tired. The icing on the cake? It was damp, 40, and cloudy. The 50 and sunny forecast never showed up.

Light wind from the NNE and a mostly eastbound route made for slow going on the way out. I decided to take a route I’d previously used from Cordova to Williston and tack on an extra loop to the east side. It had been a nice 5 hours a few weeks ago, so I figured that the new (to me) roads would add more interest. Unfortunately, the interest I found was not of the rural, bucolic type.

At approximately 2 hours and 20 minutes into my ride, a medium-sized rat terrier came streaking across a yard after me. It was small and yappy enough that it made me giggle to sprint away from it. Once it peeled off, I sat up and turned around to watch it do the dog-chase “walk of shame” back to its house. Therein lies my mistake. When I turned around, there was a gigantic boxer and a short, fat, fluffy dog standing in the middle of the road. The boxer was hopping its front feet off the ground and barking with its hackles up from shoulders to tail. With two dogs in the middle, the sprint option is nixed. I had no choice but to face it down.  As soon as I was close, it began to lunge at me. Between lunges, I stopped and put my bike between me and it and proceed to chase it away from me with the chainring. Once it retreated, I got back on my bike and tried to get away before it came back. He immediately came after my right leg, which was not yet clipped in.

Luckily, that was on purpose. I managed to land a solid donkey kick to Cujo’s teeth.  He yelped and made a permanent retreat to the side of the road. The fluffy dog followed suit.

The remainder of that loop was similarly stressful. One trailer I passed had a massive pit bull chained  to a tree outside. Just as I was thinking, “damn, I’m glad that thing is chained up, I heard more barking as a 2nd pit bull- whom I’ve dubbed the “DJ Paul” of pits- with only 3 whole legs and the remnants of what I can only think is a leg that pit #1 had bitten off- came running (albeit slowly) across the yard towards me.

Then, I came upon a “road closed to thru traffic” sign. Hmmm… I wonder just how closed it is. The answer? Not closed enough…

After that, the remainder of the trip was uneventful. Thank doG. I ended the day at exactly 6 hours and 100 miles. My feet had fallen asleep somewhere around mile 15, and once I was in the shower, they turned bright red and felt as if they were covered in fire ants. The 100s can only get better from here.

In random order.

I’ve recently fallen in love with Pearl Izumi’s “drop tail” bib tights/shorts because they make the only disadvantage to wearing bibs no longer a disadvantage.If you look at the photo, there’s a waistband across the back…

However, they previously only made them in the “elite” line, which is not as nice as the “PRO” line. Honestly, I’d call them downright chintzy. Being the gear snob that I am, I was excited to see a pair of “PRO” level shorts labeled as “drop tail”  pop up on their website. They look like this:

Wait a minute, now… something seems to be missing. Where’s the waistband? After a little internet searching brought about no answers, I sent the following email to Pearl:

“I have a question about the W P.R.O. In-R-Cool® Bib Short. In the Product description on the website, it says that these are a drop tail bib short, but the photo is of shorts without a drop tail. I have a pair of the elite droptail bibs that I like, but I’d like to get something in the PRO series if it’s available. Thanks”

Within 24 hours, I had an answer:

“The new women’s P.R.O. bib does have a drop tail, but it’s not as large and doesn’t use the same overlapping panel as the one on the ELITE Bibs.  Basically, there’s a small clip on the strap in the center/back that allows it to separate so you can pull the back of the shorts down without having to remove your jersey to un-do the suspenders. Thanks for choosing Pearl Izumi!”

I looked at the photo again and saw what they were talking about. Wow, really? I sent the following reply back to the person who had previously given me such a quick answer:

“I see that now… honestly, the thought of having to unclip, pee, then fish around under a jersey AND re-clip a buckle in the center of my back sounds like a bigger hassle than removing a jersey and pulling the suspenders down. Not to sound sexist, but did a man come up with that idea? It’s not practical at all.”

So far, I’ve heard nothing but crickets. My next email to Pearl Izumi will include Charlie Sheen Quotes.

“I am on a drug. It’s called Charlie Sheen. It’s not available because if you try it, you will die. Your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body.”

In non-Pearl Izumi hating news, I love being resourceful. I realized a couple of miles from my house this morning that the drive side crank arm on my A9C was loose. I don’t have a 10mm allen on my multi-tool, so I thought I was going to have to cut y ride short to limp home and fix it. However, I realized shortly into my limp home that I passed right by a Coleman Transmission Repair shop. At first, I got an odd look from the guy at the desk when I pushed my bike into the lobby, but once I explained my situation, he disappeared into the back for a minute, came back with a 10mm, and I was able to tighten it back down and be on my way (hopefully that was a one-time occurrence. Time will tell).

Sure, intervals on the trainer and out solo on the road have their place, but not much compares to the pain inflicted upon you by a good, testosterone-fueled group ride. The current “place to be” on Saturday mornings is the Trinity Ride (named thusly because it meets in a shopping center called Trinity Commons, which is on Trinity Rd.

Normally the pace picks up once you’re out of the city limits, but today, the group was feeling frisky and half-wheeling each other from the first hill. I made it a point to never drop out of the front third or so of the group, which meant snaking whatever gap I could find when the opportunity presented itself. For the first couple of hours, it was a mix of fast pace rotating pacelines and occasional attacks/chases. Unfortunately, as much as I love attacking and chasing, my fitness isn’t quite up to participation level yet, so I generally rode a few wheels back with the chasers.I eventually found myself in a pattern of hammering near the front, imploding, then recovering barely in time/enough to catch the tail of the pack and work my way back up to the front.

Two hours in, the group stops at a store in Galloway. Seeing that my legs were on fire, and I find a 20 minute break in a 3 hour ride to be somewhat ridiculous, I spun up the road a ways, refilled my water from a church water hose, then rode leisurely along the route to Arlington, where I waited to fall in with the group as they slowed to roll through the small downtown area. The remainder of the ride was more of the same, but with less organization, and more people falling apart as they started to tire. Happily, my training is paying off in that I may not feel as fast as the boys, but I feel as though I don’t get tired nearly as easily.

Now, time to eat and lay around more of the day in my compression tights. Tomorrow’s 5 hours solo is supposed to be a windy one…

Another kickass weekend of training…

Friday morning before work, I was awake at 4 something and in the trainer room for the circuit/interval hell workouts that I have started to love. Ryan went to the gym to lift, and made it back in time to take a photo…

Saturday, I had the go ahead from Coach to attend the Saturday Morning Worlds. The pace was perfectly fast. I got dropped from the lead group of 5 or 6 guys and worked my tail off with the main group just behind. After the store stop, things settled down quite a bit… I think mainly because Ryan was tired from the previous day’s lifting. Once we were home, I spent the remainder of the day chilling in my new compression tights.

(sorry… no photos…)

Today’s workout was the same as last Sunday’s- 5 hours of endurance-paced riding. It was windy, mild, and sunny- just a little touch of spring (though there were still some patches of snow along the road from our most recent “blizzard”). It was an excellent Crank Therapy day… I loaded a new playlist into my shuffle and headed out to sort through my head.

Thought of the day, courtesy of Albert Einstein: insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. I realized that in repeatedly trying to explain this concept to a friend during his recent relationship struggles that I, myself, was repeating a failing cycle of doing the same thing and expecting different results. Insane, I tell you!

After I figured that out, I relaxed and enjoyed the scenery…

You know you’ve got a “good” bike route when there is a coozy on the gas pump.

Before the ride report, a preface…

I’m not gonna lie- I hate winter and everything associated with it. People ask me why I don’t want to live in Colorado or someplace cool like that. It’s because I have no desire to deal with cold, ice, and snow on a regular basis. When I tell people this, I usually get an “It’s OK, you just dress right and you’re comfortable!”

Let me tell you why this statement is not true for me.

For as long as I can remember back into my childhood, I’ve always hated the feeling of layers of clothes. I even had a whole process of straightening out my socks and toes in order for them to not feel “weird” inside my shoes. I didn’t wear anything but elastic-waistband pants until I was in 5th grade. As an adult, I can’t sleep if the sheets on the bed get too messed up under the comforter, and the feeling of having enough clothing on to restrict my movement even the slightest amount makes me want to throw things and punch holes in walls. So, NO, I’m not going to be “comfortable,” even if I do dress properly for cold weather.

With that being said, last night’s snow ride was UFCKING AWESOME!

Matt Robbins (who, in order to distinguish him from Matt McCulley, will hereafter be referred to as “Dickface” Matt because of an incident involving alcohol and a black marker), Kenny, and myself gathered at my house around dusk to have (the required by coach) beer and prepare to brave the cold and snow. I think the beer made me care much less about having to wear a metric crap-ton of clothing, so I’ll admit, I was comfortable. It was one of the few chances I’ve had this winter to use my Trail LED light. I gave it a go with the handlebar mount this time since we weren’t going to ride singletrack. That sucker is even brighter when it’s shining on snow!

We started out by heading to the Shelby Farms dog park. It was quite the experience to “find” the washed/rutted out spots leading through the park to the gravel road that goes to Patriot Lake. From there, we crossed Walnut Grove and hooked up with the new Wolf River greenline bridge and make our way down the Germantown Greenline back towards Germantown Parkway. Along the way on the Gtown side, we were warned by a robocop sounding motion detector that we were going to be photographed for riding on the greenline after dark. We waved.

Once we were back to Germantown Parkway, we crossed the Wolf River again (taunting cars along the way), and stopped at the liquor store, where Kenny bought a bottle of Makers Mark. Once we were back on the road headed home, Kenny had a spectacular sliding wreck in the middle of Walnut Bend and was closely followed by Matt, who had been riding directly behind him. We eventually made it back to the house, where we found the next door neighbor out in the street doing donuts on his moped.  I shot a little video, but I still haven’t figured out how to compress & upload it.

Back at the house, libations continued in front of the fireplace. I’m not sure if there’s any better way to finish off such a great evening of sliding around in the snow…