What does it take to be a sucessful Germantown/Collierville woman?

Silver Suburban/Yukon (H2 or 3 is OK as well… or anything that gets less than 12mpg)
Plastic Surgery
A litter of children
Blonde hair (or at least blonde highlights)
A designer purse of some sort (Lois Vuitton, Hermes, Coach, etc.)
Oversized sunglasses of the same designer
Manicure/pedicure from a salon that charges a premium price because all of its manicurists “speak perfect english” (yes, this is an advertised feature of the high-dollar places around here)
A mobile phone surgically attached to the side of your head
Anti-depressants
Stickers with your kids names/sports on the back of your silver suburban/yukon
“W” sticker next to your kids’ stickers
A husband who you don’t really love, but makes enough money to pay for all this

Yes, I’m bitter. These women terrorize me when I ride my bike. I had one get pissed at me in a school zone yesterday (again) because I rode in the middle of the lane, at (actually 1mph more than) the posted speed limit, and she could not get around me because there were too many other silver suburbans parked on the side of the road picking their kids up.

Anyone want to add to the list?