Since I’m generally surrounded by men at both work and home, I’ve been contemplating a post like this lately, and a recent thread in the MTBR Singlespeed forum sparked me to actually do it- Since I’ve got a captive audience of guys who read here, I thought I’d write a little advice here about taking care of your woman (of course, I know there are plenty of ladies that read here, too. You’re all welcome/encouraged to chime in on the comments section).

Ask or show a guy how to take care of his bike, and he’s golden. Ask a guy how to keep his woman happy, and he’ll usually reply with some sort of confused analogy like this:

Yes, you are at least half correct. Men are simple and vile creatures (note the multiple definitions for “simple”). This alone is proof that homosexuality is not a conscious choice, otherwise we’d live in a world where most women were lesbians.

Spoiler alert- men, we really aren’t that complicated.

What women are really looking for is your attention. Any form of it. This is including, but not limited to: compliments, back rubs, expressions of your feelings on days other than feb 14th, your thanks/appreciation…

All of those are important, but that last one is a biggie. A lack of this is where so many problems can start- your woman does a small task to help you, and that goes seemingly unnoticed (either you didn’t notice or you did and thought, “well, that’s no big deal, I have no reason to make mention of it”). She won’t stop doing it. In an attempt to get your attention, she might even do it more. However, each time her help goes unnoticed, she makes a mental note. She will probably drop hints that your lack of notice is bothering her. Then, one day, you have an argument over how you always leave the toilet seat up, and she slaps you in the face with, “you don’t appreciate anything I do for you.”  You’re blindsided and confused.

Women are wired to take care of other warm-blooded beings- It’s that whole “mother instinct” thing. Remember- the same instinct that stimulates our desire to cook you dinner and do your laundry is the same instinct that will make a momma bear rip your arms off for looking at her cubs the wrong way. So, when we express our desire to take care of you, you’d best take notice.  Estrogen is a helluva drug.

We aren’t shallow (well, most of us, anyway). I’m not saying you have to shower us with gifts and cowtow to us in appreciation. A simple “thanks” and pat on the butt to show that you are pleased that you have clean underwear is plenty. Compliment us on something. Anything. Make it a goal to give your woman one honest compliment a day and see what happens.

So, no, we aren’t a single switch operation like you are. However, I just gave you the short & easy of what switches you need to flip to keep the machine from malfunctioning and causing a meltdown.