The next installment in my series of “Life Advice that Gets Ignored by my buddy Matt” is a continuation of several of my previous posts. Remember when I told you to be true to yourself ? The advice of today is to be true to those closest to you as well.
I touched on this very briefly when I previously explained how “flipping your sh*t” can be an artform. While it gets the point across that you aren’t happy with the actions of someone else, it’s usually not necessary. When you have a close relationship with someone, and an issue arises that causes some sort of conflict, it needs to be dealt with immediately with logical, straightforward conversation rather than being swept underneath the proverbial rug.
Case in point- remember in my last post about how I said that my friend was in an argument with a girl he’s very fond of over their widely varying views on religion and the fate of his soul? Apparently, the text conversation went on through Sunday. Many tears were shed on her end, and no resolution came of it. Monday morning rolls around, and BAM… she acts as if nothing ever happened. The worst part? He’s OK with this.
My advice doesn’t come from thin air. It comes from experience. So, as always, I can give you 500 examples of where I’ve eff’d this up in my own life. It took 7 years of first marriage for me to figure out that when your significant other asks, “what’s wrong?” that the correct reply is “X is wrong” and rather than “nothing.” Sure, it will start an argument. It’s conflict- it can bring painful issues to the surface for both of you. I can promise you, though, they’re much less painful there than when they’re inside your head, gnawing at the back of your eyeballs every minute of every day.
Now, I make it a habit that if Ryan does anything that upsets me, bothers me, or might potentially upset/bother me, I tell him. Immediately. It’s been my experience that an immediate, small argument in which you reach a resolution will prevent the pattern of buildup/unhappiness that occurs when the conflict in question turns into an 800 pound gorilla napping peacefully on the other side of the room. Sure, it’s safe for now, but WTF are you going to do when it wakes up?
I’m stating the obvious for most of my readers, but since my advice tends to fall on deaf (or at least unwilling) ears in real life, I use this blog as an outlet. If you’re reading this and thinking about your own relationship problems, then save yourself the trip to the counselor and tell your mate exactly what it is that’s bothering you. If you aren’t in a relationship, turn your speakers up and click HERE (or HERE if you’re more Hipster than Hip Hop).