I got beef, too.

I’m low on blog material right now, so I thought I’d piggyback off of what Dicky posted this morning. (you should definitely read that first)

I’ve got problems with downhill racing.

Let me start by saying, I really like downhill racing. I mean, once I did a Super D on a ski hill, and I did pretty OK at the TransSylvania Enduro race-within-a-race. If I didn’t live in Memphis, I’d totally try a REAL downhill race. I wouldn’t get too serious about it, though, because who wants to ride a bike ONLY going downhill? I like to pedal uphill at least a few times on all of my bike rides. Only riding down the hill is kinda a waste of my time.

Unfortunately, downhill has a history of being a super “bro” sport. It attracts a bunch of off-season snowboarder bros along with guys who are more interested in monster energy drinks and scoring with snowbunnies. Because it’s a totally different attitude than what I’m comfortable with, it’s evolved the sport into something that isn’t attractive to a toned cross-country/endurance racer like myself. Come on- smoking a bowl on the lift before your run is a natural part of the sport. Ugh.

This is what I’d rather see:
Hard core XC and Endurance racers don’t need lift service. That’s for people who don’t train. Get on your downhill bike and pedal up that hill. Also, lose all those pads. That stuff is heavy, and it’ll make you overheat when you’re climbing.

But what about how hard those bikes are to pedal? I mean, they bob up and down and have all that travel, and ski hills are really big. I don’t want to break every bone in my body when I crash, either, so I NEED those pads.

So? Man up, BRO.

If this sport had been started by the type of bike racer I like, it would be soooo much better because it would have evolved with equipment and people that could handle pedaling their big hit bike up a hill. In fact, the bikes would have been better built for that purpose in the first place. They’d have less travel and steeper headtube angles so they would be better going up and down. They would have never been overbuilt and kitted out with giant rotors and other silly stuff that just slows you down. They’d be a lot like those “enduro” bikes that are flooding the market right now.

Look, if you made the courses more like a cross country course and less like a downhill course, then a full on downhill bike wouldn’t be necessary, and you could ride a “normal” bike that doesn’t bob around so much when you pedal. Take out those huge drops and all that man-made stuff. What’s the point of that stuff, anyway? With less of that, you won’t need as much body armor, either.

Sure, I’ve never REALLY done a downhill race except for once in Arkansas, but it’s because of that whole “bro” mentality that’s caused the sport to be something I don’t really have an interest in but feel like complaining about anyway. Those guys should take a hint from me and start training harder so they can do something other than coast down some berms wearing all that stupid gear.

Riding downhill in a competitive manner is super fun, but if I’m going to do it, it needs to be totally different.

 

If you’re totally confused right now, go back & read the first link like I told you. If you’re pissed off, then relax. It’s just a joke.

4 thoughts on “I got beef, too.

  1. My body armor makes me feel tough.. plus it has ab muscle bumps. Oddly, yours and the dick’s blogs are the only two that made the migration to my new phone’s feedler app. I am really digging this cross-over episode. It’s like when Shirley dated Richie Cunningham on Happy days.

  2. Valiant effort at a witty retort, but you forget that the first mountain bike race was a downhill. Maybe use bike polo or freestyle fixed gear instead?

  3. Eh, I think I’ve made my point clear enough. If you’re complaining that cyclocross racers aren’t being self sufficient it’s basically like complaining that downhillers can’t pedal (or track racers don’t shift, etc). None of those things is the point of any of those disciplines.

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