Cheer up, Emo Kid

Training this weekend was, physically speaking, not a failure. I’ve still got sacroiliac pain, but, from what I understand, that sort of thing just takes a long time to heal. I’m going in for another checkup with the orthopedic doctor on Wednesday, and I plan on talking to him to make sure that everything I’m experiencing is normal with my sort of injury.

Unfortunately, as my physical scars are fading slowly, the psychological  impact of my accident is beginning to sink in. On Saturday, I went out for a road ride. I cried no fewer than 5 times. Why? People were being careless- they’d pass a little too close, or going into a blind turn or hill. One driver buzzed me at ~50mph because he/she wanted to pass when there was oncoming traffic. After the initial 5 seconds of adrenaline, I pulled off the road into a heap of snot and tears.

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None of these things are atypical for any road ride, and, aside from the buzzing incident, none actually put me into much danger. However, I’ve become acutely aware that a majority of people in existence just don’t care about anyone other than themselves. It’s ugly, and it makes me lose hope that I won’t get mowed down again because someone is too wrapped up in their own agenda to actually give a damn about the well-being of others. It’s like this quote posted by one of my Facebook friends about motorcycles:

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My tattoo artist, Joe Stamp, is still in the hospital because someone who wasn’t paying attention pulled out of a sidestreet and hit him while he was riding his motorcycle. He just had to have the lower half of one of his legs amputated (you can donate to his insane medical bills via this link: https://fundrazr.com/campaigns/7SCd6. I’m guessing the amount that’s on there right now will pay for 1 or two days of his really long hospital stay, so chip in if you can)

At one point, about 5 miles from my house on the way home, I actually called for someone to come and pick me up. I almost couldn’t bear to think about any other human beings acting in a manner that would put other human beings lives in danger. However, a few minutes after I made the call, I texted back… (warning, I used the “F” word)

 

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So, I rode home. I didn’t cry again until I was back.

Sunday, I did a recovery ride mostly in Shelby Farms, and today, I’ve got a trainer workout (indoors). Tomorrow, I’ll get back out and try again. It’s all I can do at this point.

10 thoughts on “Cheer up, Emo Kid

  1. That’s terrible. You need group shielding for a while. Hang in there and run the Mushroom or Soiree just till you get back to specs. I know the fear. When I saw the race over the weekend and they were riding in the slush it freaked me out. My break was wet railroad tracks. Hang tough and group ride. When I get back we can try to drop a group in the gap days if that helps.

  2. Andrea,
    I hope things get better soon. You are tough..BUT..you are human. Sometimes we can’t predict how our bodies will react to trauma and it takes a little more time or some different approaches than we realize. I like the idea of the group ride mentioned above. I wonder if Bikram Yoga would help the pain? It has helped me tremendously with some pain in my left leg/knee. I also hope your friend who suffered the motorcycle accident is on the road to recovery (I can only imagine).
    Take care,
    Becky Z

  3. I’ve definitely found some comfort in yoga! I go to Better Bodies 2-3x per week depending on my training schedule. It’s helped a lot with keeping the bruised area mobile.

  4. I’m gonna have to hit yoga when my fractures heal more. Sounds like a good idea. Hate the news about the time frame on the other stuff. Go hit a group ride Tuesday.

  5. Chicka,
    I hear you. I was hit by a motorist as a kid and I didn’t ride a bike again until I was in college and didn’t ride on roads again for about 20 years. I still have moments where I have the same reaction as you. You, my friend need to let more than the body heal. Not sure that the group rides Red Dragon mentioned are the answer since they don’t always ride safe but there are folks out there who will ride with you happily and as you know there is safety in numbers- even if that number is only two. Don’t be ashamed. It’s not EMO, maybe a little PTSD but nothing that you can’t and aren’t working through. Just go easy on yourself.k?

  6. Reading your blog and seeing the picture of you crying is really pissing me off.

    I don’t know what to tell or say about the “makeup” of humans. Very small percentages are completely on another planet when it comes to interaction with others. Unfortunately some of those “mentally ill people” are behind the wheel of autos.

    You are a professional athlete so practicing your skills is a must; however, I would suggest limiting your exposure. Go out and crush some rides in the dirt on your mountain or cross bike and then when you are up to it let Matt and Ryan be your body guards on some road rides.

  7. The big groups are really safer. When Velo came out to a SS ride a few weeks ago 50 people {guessing} took over the road. It was a small parade and we had our own lane. No cars went into that lane. It held till the ride spread later.

  8. I have been doing lots of gravel rides on my mountain bike in place of my usual road rides because I have to get on a busy two-lane road at the start and end of every road ride. I got tired of getting pissed off/scared every time I’m on that road. I still have to ride my road bike some though and so do you so maybe limit your solo road rides until you are more comfortable. If you are solo, hit the gravel. And give yourself some time to readjust. You have reason to be freaked out. You were almost killed. Hang in there!

  9. That sucks. I still don’t go downhill very fast after a two night stay in the Med many years ago but it does get better.
    Come ride in Jackson some- there is literally 1/20th the traffic on the roads here.

  10. Go hit the Mushroom Tuesday at 5:30 for a power 20 miles. That ride only gets bigger as the weather gets better. I was at the MED for one night. That’s a crazy place to be. When I get healed I’m heading back out to pound away. I figure it took me a few decades to wreck so I will have another few before the next one. I’m not gonna ask if you had a mirror for road riding. I have one but am not in a race. I went down HWY 57 for 55 miles out and had to have one to see them coming. Take the Mushroom bumper of a flashing pack behind you.

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